Day 56 - April 18 - ...And Eve Takes Another Bite of the Apple

It's been a rough week. Not because there have not been some GREAT moments but because I haven't been able to consistently feel the joy. I've just felt bombarded with negativity despite being really BLESSED. In conjunction with this, I also thought I could function outside of God's provision. I know the BBE was an answer to prayer but I've been slowly but surely getting further and further away from it. In less than two months, I made the mistake of feeling I was ready to go it alone despite evidence to the contrary and being still so far from my goals.

Because He is so faithful, I was led to start reading the book "A Call for Character" by Greg Zoschak and had to face some truths this morning when I read:

Whatever overcomes an individual becomes his master. People serve whatever they are in bondage to. Believers are no exception to this rule. Since whatever overcomes a person places him in bondage, and since whatever he is bound to he serves, then we can see why there are so many believers who are unconsciously bound to the enemy and are unwittingly serving him. In the same respect, however, if a believer is bound to the Lord Jesus, then he is serving God.

In getting away from the BBE, which was a gift from God, I was unwittingly serving the enemy by eating in a way that would keep me from my goal of "finding my God bod". Like Eve, I didn't realize I was being tempted by Satan and because I wasn't diligent, I didn't keep God's mission for me as my focus. I know there are greater, more important works being done in the world but the BBE is the one that's been entrusted to me. The enemy doesn't make us lose focus in a way that is blatant and obvious. That would be easier to overcome. Satan uses subtlety and the illusion of our independence. I needed a reminder of my own need to CLING to my Heavenly Father this past week and to overcome my lack of focus.

This past week the enemy has tried to convince me that I'm unworthy and that I fall short. It's been crippling and I've been living in a fog of depression, even with all the blessings I've encountered. I may still be unworthy and fall short but I'm infinitely grateful that God's grace overcomes and perforates Satan's lies. I must keep God's promises in my focus:

¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

AMEN!

Meaningful Movement: 45 minutes of Leslie Sanson walking DVD with resistance belt and light jogging

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 56:
-Chocolate muffin
-apple
-Swai fish filet
-Trail mix
-pepperoni, crackers and cheddar cheese (half of what I'd been eating)
-White spinach pizza and watermelon

Day 55 - April 17 - (just the facts)

Meaningful Movement: N/A

Food that I ate:
- 1 1/2 English muffins
-BLT on sour dough, fries and side salad with bleu cheese
-pretzels
-2 bratz
-2 m&m cookies

Day 54 - April 16 - Fun in the Sun

I've been feeling pretty depleted lately but was able to get a recharge in my batteries today. My daughter was able to spend the morning and afternoon with her best friend and I was able to have a wonderful day with two of my best friends, Tanya and Jenny. We went to an extra quiet beach (they soaked up the sun while I enjoyed the shade of an umbrella! Yes, I'm the palest Filipino you will ever meet), drove to the boardwalk where we had a FABULOUS grouper reuben (blackened grouper, Florida slaw, thousand island dressing and cheese all on in-house rye bread) and for the last 45 minutes before we had to drive back, looked around in some cute boutiques. ( Plus, a shirt that I adored FIT! THAT was a recharge all by itself!). It was a perfect day of sun, conversation, contemplation and fellowship with two GREAT women. Thank you, ladies, for a wonderful day!


Meaningful Movement: N/A


Food I ate today (didn't use a baby bowl):
-English muffin with ICBINB
-Fried green tomatoes (1 1/3) and sauce
-Grouper reuben with fries
-Small Shake's concrete - mint chocolate chip with Heath bar crunch.
-Fasted after 3pm
NOTE: With all the calories I packed in before 3pm, believe me, this was no big sacrifice!

Day 53 - April 15 - A Stumble and Fall

Oh, wow. I can't BELIEVE how much I BLEW my baby bowl experiment today. Just one thing after another and I ignored almost EVERY guideline and goal that has been my focus for over a month. I didn't have any meaningful movement, I overspent in my budget during a lunch out, ate too much at that lunch, overate again for dinner and felt TOTALLY gross by the end of it. I have to come to the conclusion that short-term yumminess isn't worth the totally gross bit at the end of the day. I have enjoyed so many other nights feeling satisfied, accomplished and HEALTHIER since starting the Baby Bowl Experiment. Today was not one of those days. So. Back on the horse tomorrow.

Meaningful Movement: N/A

Food that I ate, day 53 (so much variety I can't even list it):
-Church brunch
NOTE: Ate out of my baby bowl here so I started the day okay. Plus, I had an AMAZING morning with my sisters in faith! HUGE blessing!
-Mexican restaurant
NOTE: A WASTE in calories and money but had a wonderful time with my family. The added bonus is my husband and I are convicted about tag-teaming on future decisions when it comes to where we spend BOTH from now on. Sometimes you have to take a step back to take a two steps forward.
-Volunteer reception dinner
NOTE: What a great evening of fellowship, group prayer (POWERFUL!) and planning. CAN'T WAIT for the Beth Moore simulcast on Saturday, April 24th. If you haven't, register now:
http://www.fumcniceville.org/women/women-events.html
YOU WILL BE BLESSED!!!

Day 52 - April 14 - Step Class without the Step

So. Today I went to my first step class in about a year. The LAST time I went I was SO angry at the ridiculous intricacy of it I spent most of my time glaring at the instructor while I tried not to break my neck falling off the step. I did sweat for an hour but needed a MAJOR attitude adjustment. Fast forward a year and I'm ready to try again. A glutton for punishment, I went back to the same instructor but this time, I looked into what my options were. I asked about taking the step class and NOT using the step and she was TOTALLY supportive! She's told her classes that this is an option but it sounded like I'd be the first to actually take advantage of it. I KNOW that the workout would be more effective with a step, of course but even more, I know myself. I know that I will fall off while I'm trying to figure out where my feet are supposed to be and I'm not trying to sabotage the rest of my workouts by busting an ankle or knee. HOWEVER, I'm also looking for a new way to get some cardio in before my Beginning Toning class and to keep my body guessing. I can't be bothered about what other people are going to think about my NOT using the step and it's not the time to be self conscious about my utter lack of coordination. What I loved about this class withOUT the step is the total challenge of keeping up, learning a knew language (there is a whole other language used by step instructors to let the students know what they need to do. For now, I am CLUELESS.), the interval training and the fact it's keeping my body doesn't know WHAT I'm going to give it next! If I get comfortable later on, I may add some height but for now, movement is enough. Love it!

Meaningful Movement: 1 hour of step and 1 hour of beginning toning

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 52:
-Juice Plus+
-English muffin, 1/2 peanut butter and 1/2 butter
-1 scrambled egg with American cheese on homemade tortilla
-Swai fillet, 5 whole wheat crackers and 2/3 wedge of Laughing Cow Light cheese (garlic herb)
NOTE: Swai is HUGE. I was just so hungry I ended up eating way more than my baby bowl in my final meal. I've also gotten Laughing Cow cheese to get me through my cheese and cracker desire. The garlic herb flavor is SO yummers and Marianne likes it too.

Day 51 - April 13 - The Green Skirt

I put on a skirt today that I haven't been able to get over my THIGHS longer than I remember. My rear and my tummy were pretty squished in there but the button MET the button hole. The zipper CLOSED. I could sit down and BREATHE. It was AWESOME! I'm telling you, I'm going to SAVOR this journey!


Meaningful Movement: 40 minutes interval on the treadmill (3.0 - 4.5, 2.5 cool down)

Food that fits in a baby bowl:
-1 scrambled egg and American cheese in a homemade tortilla wrap
-At the MOPS meeting: Chicken salad on croissant, fresh fruit, 2 mini quiches, cucumber on baguette round, greek pasta salad (feta cheese, olives, tortilini, herbs, olive oil)
NOTE: I did use my baby bowl and I have to admit, the sandwich did go above the rim. It was all just so yumster I wanted to try as much as I could and it wasn't everything. Plus, I didn't have cake...and it looked DELICIOUS!
-1 scrambled egg and American cheese in a homemade tortilla wrap
-1/2 bag of peanut m&m's
NOTE: I'd been wanting a candy bar since last night and really wanted a Baby Ruth while I was waiting for the van to be fixed. The m&m's were my happy medium.
-2/3 small strawberry Julius, 6 waffle fries and 6 Chik-fil-A nuggets and I tried all the different sauces
NOTE: This was above the rim too. I made the mistake of not bringing my bowl and didn't prepare for getting hungry at the MALL. *gah*

Day 50 - April 12 - Weigh in, week 7

Starting weight: 233, Feb 22
Last week: 219
This week: 218

My goal for next week: 215

Showing progress:
-Less jigglage when I'm on the treadmill.
-I can pull off my jean capris without unbuttoning or unzipping!
-Lung capacity increasing
-Increased treadmill to 4.5 during my "light jog" times. (I have short legs so it doesn't take much to get into "light jog" mode. *g*)
-I'm starting to see the difference in my legs, forearms and hips
-Getting more flexible.
-I have a t-shirt I normally have to stretch out before I put it on. I put it on this morning and it just fell over my hips with no problem!
-I don't crave as much sugar as I used to and when I do, the sugar tastes EXTRA sweet so I don't have much of it.
-People who haven't seen me in awhile can tell that a change is happening.
-A black skirt that's been too tight to wear properly now fits great!
-Balance is improving.
-Rings are getting a little loose.

I'm grateful for all these positive changes but what DOESN'T seem to be changing are my ARMS!!!! I swear, they make me consider surgery. My arms seem as big as ever and it's the area on my body I have the biggest anxiety about. Because of my arms I have to buy shirts one size bigger and preferably with a 3/4 sleeve. Okay...I'll be fair. I DO love my arms for all the things they allow me to do but I HATE arm FAT. The ridiculous thing is that my forearms seem to be getting leaner but my upper arms are still tree trunks. *SCREAMING*

Meaningful Movement: 1 hour of Zumba and 1 hour of beginning toning

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 50:
-peanut butter on whole wheat toast with milk
-peanut butter and banana smoothie
-pepperoni, cheddar cheese and wheat crackers
-swai fish and couscous
NOTE: I actually had a whole filet. It was just SO yummy!

Day 49 - April 11 - Prayer on the Treadmill

When I'm on the treadmill, I pray. I rely on my Spirit to push me, to get me through it and to challenge me. In my mind, I'm ready to slow down as my workout goes on or shorten my time during the more strenuous parts. I'm looking to get in and get out, you know? --But then something else clicks. I want to go faster or add a few more seconds...and then I'm smiling. I know this is not me. It's an answer to prayer. It's because of God's faithfulness that I actually look forward to the gym these days. Just putting on my gym clothes feels like VICTORY.

I got as big as I am because I fought what I knew my body CRAVED. I knew I should be moving but came up with every excuse not to. I let the fear of failure keep me from even trying. It's now about not getting in my own way, to surrender to my inner "coach" to get me up and out everyday. To trust God to lead me where I need to go is the way I want to be. He knows what's best.


Meaningful Movement: 40 minutes of interval on the treadmill

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, day 49:
-swai fish and couscous
NOTE: I know, a weird breakfast but I REALLY wanted fish.
-banana and Nutella smoothie
-Red Baron personal pepperoni pizza
-marinated chicken and couscous

Day 48 - April 10 - (just the facts)

Meaningful Movement: Pulling my daughter, and all our equipment, in her wagon during the air show on Eglin AFB.

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, day 48:
-one scrambled egg with ketchup
NOTE: My baby girl cooked at the stove for the first time (with mommy at her side, of course) so I was DEFINITELY going to eat these eggs. She did an AWESOME job!
-Emerald Trail Mix, S'Mores Blend
NOTE: This box comes with 6 packets and it's DELICIOUS. The only disappointment is they packaged TWO servings per bag! Keep that in mind! I shared this bag with Marianne.
-AT THE AIR SHOW (over a 4 hour period): 1/2 a cheeseburger, 1/2 nachos, 1 hot dog, 3 bites of a cherry snow cone, 6 chips with cheese
NOTE: I know this is pretty bad but there aren't a lot of choices. No one was selling veggie kabobs, you know what I mean? Plus, I didn't get what I probably would've gotten before: funnel cakes and m&m's ice cream sandwich. We also brought our own water.
-whole wheat crackers, cheddar cheese, pepperoni
NOTE: Yeek! I just looked up the calories on this and it's almost 600 calories! I need to cut this snack down by HALF! (I'm not yet ready to give it up completely.)
-1/2 filet of swai fish, couscous and roasted asparagus/onions
NOTE: This is turning into one of my FAVORITE meals! You can get frozen swai fish at Sam's and 1/2 a filet is a baby bowl serving. It is DELICOUS and is along the lines of tilapia.

Day 47 - April 9 - CRANKY!

I am cranky today. I'm not talking about mildly irritated. I'm talking full-on-hormonal-scream-into-a-pillow-running-on-fumes-don't-poke-mama-bear-feeling-brave-in-a-dark-alley sort of cranky. It's just been that kind of day. My daughter and I have been yelling and crying at each other all day (yes, that would my FOUR year old...Lord help me...) about clothes, going out, what to eat for dinner, on and on...and it took her TWO hours to fall asleep tonight. The plans I had didn't go through because I got the dates mixed up. My house is so messy I truly don't even know where to start. I have not been OUT for a mindless evening in MONTHS. I miss seeing my hubby because work only allows glimpses of him. -- And on top of all this, I'm not wallowing in a loaf of crusty bread and a big wagon wheel of brie cheese to ease the fact I would like a break from my SELF today. *MEH*

I tried to pray (beyond my, "Lord, help me with this child") but the growling, yelling and loud sighing kept getting in the way. I just could NOT find that quiet space to bring it all to God. It just all felt so relentless.

Believe me, I do know how blessed I am: I have an AWESOME daughter who is truly one of my best friends and is usually my EVERYTHING buddy (despite our anomalous blip of a day), I will be able to carry out my plans (God willing) tomorrow, I HAVE a house, I have girlfriends who are sisters to me, my husband HAS a job to go to AND I get to see him everyday and I'm also on the road to gaining lightness. I don't take ANY of it for granted. It was just...one...of...those...days. Here's to a better tomorrow...

Meaningful Movement: 40 minutes of stepladder on the treadmill and 1 hour of beginning toning

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, day 47:
-4 mini banana muffins and ICBINB
-mango and Juice Plus+
-cheddar cheese, pepperoni and crackers
-Juice Plus+
-Lenny's: 1 1/2" meatball sub on wheat, 1/2 bag of baked potato chips, 1/3 chocolate chip cookie, lemonade
NOTE: I know the size of the sub seems almost impossible but Marianne and I split a kid's meal. We each got half a meatball. *g* I was going to get the regular salt and vinegar chips but thought better of it when I knew Marianne wouldn't eat it and I would be left to eat the whole bag. I also meant to eat half the cookie but baby girl thought otherwise. She also wanted lemonade but it's SO tart I made it half water/half lemonade. Honestly, putting together all this food, it was more than enough. Back in the day, I would've eaten a 6" sub, an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips, a whole cookie and half sweet/half unsweet tea. The perspective I'm getting from the baby bowl is really working!
-The meat from two wings and a thigh with roasted asparagus and red onion
-Juice Plus+
NOTE: I prefer white meat but I'd cut up a whole fryer chicken. I cooked the dark meat tonight as a baked fried chicken and I'm using the breast meat another day in a Filipino soup or adobo. I'd also intended to make a carb with this meal, like rice or couscous but the veggies were plenty.
-strawberries with light whipped cream and sprinkles

Day 46 - April 8 - (just the facts)

Enjoyed a wonderful day with my church family and my family family.

Meaningful Movement: Rest day - I'm hurting from my neck to my knees! *gah*

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, day 46:
-buffet food: biscuit, spice cake, egg and sausage thingy and sausage ball
-buffet food: cookie, spice cake, biscuit
-small Wendy's chili and crackers (yes, a bit bigger than the bowl) and 6 french fries
-Sam's Club samples: strawberry ice cream, strawberry shortcake, chicken
-strawberries and light whipped cream

Day 45 - April 7 - Using the Scale for Good and Not Evil

I recently read an article in Prevention which suggested that folks who track their weight on a daily basis tend to have better success than people who weigh themselves just once a week. This surprised me because with weight fluctuating so much from hour to hour, day to day, the traditional way of thinking is to NOT focus on these numbers this often. I have to say though that today, this worked for me.

I had several things I needed to do at home and wasn't planning on going to the gym. About an hour before I left for the day I weighed myself. It showed 220. In the past this would've really bummed me out, especially in light of the work I've done. I've learned enough to know that muscle can also be part of weight gain but seeing the gain was enough to get me in the gym!

I think you have to be careful when you weigh yourself everyday because it can be easy for your self esteem to be defined by this 3 digit number, for better or worse. I work on this myself. It's why I track other signals of progress on my "official" weigh in day. I want to know that if one tracking method makes me feel like poo that I don't forget what IS getting accomplished along the way.

I don't know that I'll take up the habit of weighing myself everyday but I'll use it as an incentive if I do, not as a way to punish myself if the number is higher or as an excuse not to go to the gym when it's lower.

Meaningful Movement: 15 minutes Abs, 1 hour of cardio and strength and 1 hour of beginning toning.

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, day 45:
-4 mini banana nut muffins with ICBINB
-banana and Nutella smoothie
-tilapia fillet and couscous
-4 mini banana nut muffins with ICBINB
-whole wheat crackers, cheddar cheese and pepperoni

Day 44 - April 6 - TTT, Part 5

Tuesday Tip with a Trainer: When you work on your cardio, it takes about 5 minutes to get your heart rate to where it should be. Therefore, warm up 5 minutes, maintain an elevated heart rate for at least 30 minutes and cool down for 5 minutes.

I've started to do this with my stepladder on the treadmill. I had been warming up for a minute, kept an elevated heart rate for 28-29 minutes and cooled down for 2 minutes. I've been doing 40-45 minutes for the last few days and it definitely feels a lot better!

Meaningful movement: 40 minutes stepladder treadmill

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, day 44:
-4 mini banana and pecan muffins with ICBINB
-mango
-roast beef sandwich
NOTE: I cut two 1/2" rounds from a loaf of Italian bread, added a tablespoon of shredded cheddar cheese and 3 or 4 slices of meat, about the size of bread.
-4 mini banana and pecan muffins with ICBINB
-a tilapia fillet and couscous
Didn't eat after 7pm.

Day 42 - April 4 - A GREAT Easter...He is RISEN indeed...

What a GREAT day today! We had a wonderful service at our home church then it was off to Andy Stanley's satellite church in Ft. Walton Beach. He has such wonderful insight and his Easter message didn't disappoint. I am even MORE convicted of the Resurrection than I already was. Praise God! (And thank you to my husband who suggested we go to TWO services today so we got even MORE out of such a blessed day!)

After our services we then came home to see what the Easter bunny left Marianne while we were at church and enjoyed two of her gifts, The Princess and the Frog and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. (If you haven't seen the Meatballs movie, GET IT IMMEDIATELY! Mark and I giggle through the whole thing and it has SO much heart. It's definitely in my top 5 favorite animated movies of all time and Mark says it IS his favorite! Mr. T as the policeman is worth price of admission alone. AWESOMENESS!)

After dinner we headed over to Destin Commons where we enjoyed the Phil Wickham concert! (His song "True Love" is SUCH a great Easter song. Wow...) It was made even more special because we got to share it with our dear friends, the Tucker gals (Marianne and Ashley are BFFs!) PLUS, a college friend I hadn't seen in 10 years recognized me in the crowd! How fun!

It was truly a blessed day of fellowship, food, family, friends and FUN!

Meaningful Movement: Dancing on and off all day to wonderful praise music!

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 42:
-Semi-homemade bacon, egg and cheese biscuit (1 Pillsbury flaky biscuit, 1 piece of thin-sliced bacon, 1/2 and egg and 1/2 a slice of American cheese)
-Dark chocolate and almond fiber bar
-Semi-homemade bacon, egg and cheese biscuit (1 Pillsbury flaky biscuit, 1 piece of bacon, 1/2 and egg and 1/2 a slice of American cheese) and 3 pieces of bacon
-biscuit
-one bite each of Cadbury Flake bar, Marathon bar (this isn't the right name but this is what it is) and Crunch bar. Plus, 4 mini Robin eggs and one mini Cadbury cream egg.
NOTE: I didn't eat these all at once but on and off between 12 pm and 3pm. We LOVE going to the local British store and these were special treats from the Easter bunny.
-Several bites of roast beef over the two hours it was cooking.
-4" roast beef sandwich: Italian bread, 2-3 slices of roast beef, sauteed red onion and a slice of American cheese
NOTE: I didn't measure this sandwich so it was probably bigger than a baby bowl.
-Fasted after 3pm. I know the Lenten season is over but I over-indulged so much earlier in the day I really didn't need anything more the rest of the day.

Day 41 - April 3 - Current Treadmill Playlist

I focused on songs that I'd want to dance to or sing to and would give me a variety of beats so I could adjust the speeds on the treadmill to give me a natural stepladder sequence.

Black Eyed Peas:
-Where is the Love
-Boom Boom Pow
-One Tribe
-Bebot
-I Gotta Feeling

Paramore:
-cruschcrushcrush

Jason Mraz:
-I'm Yours (warm up and cool down)




Meaningful Movement: 45 minutes of stepladder treadmill, chair dance crunches

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 41:
-Juice Plus+
-one scrambled egg and one slice American cheese wrapped in homemade tortilla
-Juice Plus+
-one scrambled egg and one slice American cheese wrapped in homemade tortilla
-cheese roll-up in a tortilla
-2.5 oz peanut m&m's
-whole wheat Ritz with cheddar cheese and pepperoni
-pineapple parfait
NOTE: Definitely not one of my better days of healthy eating. I just had the MUNCHIES today!

Day 40 - April 2 - Thank You

Today was one of the best days I've had in a long time. I woke up in love with my family and loved in return, a prayer I've been keeping deep in my bones was answered, the air was sweet and fresh while the sun shone, I challenged my body and it was triumphant, a new friend became a closer friend and I went through the entire day feeling CAPABLE. How perfect for all this to culminate on Good Friday. Thank you, Jesus, from the bottom of my heart.

Meaningful Movement: 30 minutes of stepladder on the treadmill and 1 hour of Beginning Toning

Food I ate today:
-Panera: 1/2 blueberry and 1/2 sesame bagel with butter
-Subway: foot long veggie sub (American cheese, lettuce, pickles, red onion, cucumber, green peppers, olives, mayo, oil and vinegar) on whole wheat bread
-Lenten fast: dinner
NOTE: To honor Good Friday, I didn't eat meat and started my fast at 3 instead of 5 (yes, I'm hungry). I have to admit I ate the foot long veggie close to the cutoff point so it would carry over.

Day 39 - April 1 - Fool the Sugar!

When my brother and sister were little I taught them how to make Kool-Aid. We'd get a pitcher of water, add the packet of flavor and a cup of sugar. As we began to stir I'd tell them, "You have to fool the sugar!", stirring a few times one way and then quickly stirring the other way to more quickly dissolve the sugar. Otherwise, if we stirred one way for any length of time, the granules would just chase each other around the pitcher.

I think fat burning is like this. It's why circuit training is so effective. It's why we don't want to get in a regular routine. With any movement our bodies can burn fat, yes, but it's not nearly as fast as when you keep your body guessing. There are certain things I really love to do to get my meaningful movement in but it's great that they can be tweaked to "fool the sugar": routines are added and dropped in zumba, the equipment and sequencing changes in Beginning Toning and the stepladder on the treadmill can be adjusted up and down. Fool that sugar, people!

Meaningful Movement: 1 hour of zumba

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 39:
-cantalope
-mango
-Red Barron personal pepperoni pizza with pineapple and green peppers
-4 whole wheat Ritz crackers with peanut butter and 3 crackers with a 1/4 American cheese
-1/2 skinless boneless chicken breast with caper sauce over wild rice
-Lenten fast: dinner