It's been a rough week. Not because there have not been some GREAT moments but because I haven't been able to consistently feel the joy. I've just felt bombarded with negativity despite being really BLESSED. In conjunction with this, I also thought I could function outside of God's provision. I know the BBE was an answer to prayer but I've been slowly but surely getting further and further away from it. In less than two months, I made the mistake of feeling I was ready to go it alone despite evidence to the contrary and being still so far from my goals.
Because He is so faithful, I was led to start reading the book "A Call for Character" by Greg Zoschak and had to face some truths this morning when I read:
Whatever overcomes an individual becomes his master. People serve whatever they are in bondage to. Believers are no exception to this rule. Since whatever overcomes a person places him in bondage, and since whatever he is bound to he serves, then we can see why there are so many believers who are unconsciously bound to the enemy and are unwittingly serving him. In the same respect, however, if a believer is bound to the Lord Jesus, then he is serving God.
In getting away from the BBE, which was a gift from God, I was unwittingly serving the enemy by eating in a way that would keep me from my goal of "finding my God bod". Like Eve, I didn't realize I was being tempted by Satan and because I wasn't diligent, I didn't keep God's mission for me as my focus. I know there are greater, more important works being done in the world but the BBE is the one that's been entrusted to me. The enemy doesn't make us lose focus in a way that is blatant and obvious. That would be easier to overcome. Satan uses subtlety and the illusion of our independence. I needed a reminder of my own need to CLING to my Heavenly Father this past week and to overcome my lack of focus.
This past week the enemy has tried to convince me that I'm unworthy and that I fall short. It's been crippling and I've been living in a fog of depression, even with all the blessings I've encountered. I may still be unworthy and fall short but I'm infinitely grateful that God's grace overcomes and perforates Satan's lies. I must keep God's promises in my focus:
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)
AMEN!
Meaningful Movement: 45 minutes of Leslie Sanson walking DVD with resistance belt and light jogging
Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 56:
-Chocolate muffin
-apple
-Swai fish filet
-Trail mix
-pepperoni, crackers and cheddar cheese (half of what I'd been eating)
-White spinach pizza and watermelon
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