Day 38 - March 31 - Don't Let People Get in Your Head

Like many of us, it can be easier for me to encourage other people than it is to encourage myself. It's too easy to get into a loop of only hearing the negative even when I'm in the midst of so much POSITIVE...but I'm working on it.

The pursuit of getting healthy is not an easy thing to hide. Whether or not you're blogging about it people notice, especially when you've been as big as I've been for so long. For the most part, people have been incredibly kind and generous with their encouragement and for that, I'm truly grateful. Occasionally, though, there is someone who only notices where you're lacking or wants to tell you how hard the road is going to be. My message to them: Believe me, you're not telling me anything I don't already know. I have to face it everyday, each moment, and I've never claimed to be perfect, God knows. Unraveling my old habits, history, moodiness, desires, schedule, physical limitations, relationships, work habits and motivation can be a daunting task and they ALL play a part in this endeavor.

I really don't want to be a gal who denies the incalculable blessings along the way only to focus on the handful of people who unintentionally say things that can be disheartening to me. Stumbling over a hurdle doesn't need to be the end of the race, especially when you're only competing with yourself.

You know the old saying "fake it till you make it"? It's what I've decided to do when I hear something that brings me down. When I get unsolicited criticism in the form of "advice", I'm learning to not get defensive but to say "thank you for your time". When someone tells me how hard this is going to be now that I'm "older" I say, "It doesn't have to be me. I'm willing to put in the work." I may not FEEL it when I'm responding but I also want to get in the habit of moving THROUGH it, not letting it fester in my imagination. I don't need to be my own worst enemy.

Meaningful Movement: 30 minutes of stepladder on the treadmill and 1 hour of beginning toning

Food that fit in a baby bowl, Day 38:
-Juice Plus+
-1 scrambled egg with 1 slice of American cheese wrapped in a homemade tortilla
-1 Red Baron personal pan pepperoni pizza with added pineapple and green peppers

Then, I went off the program:
-At the movies: popcorn and 10 peanut m&m's
-At the mall: 1 small pina colada orange julius and a Chik-Fil-A sandwich on a honey wheat bun
NOTE: It's true I didn't measure the food here but I'm seeing where the baby bowl experiment is starting to effect my perception of food:
-When Marianne and I have gone to the movies in the past, I've bought a large popcorn (so I could get a refill on the way out) and a slushy. This time, hubby came too and we ALL split a MEDIUM popcorn and brought water and juice. Yes, we each got a sweet treat but the natural transition to the popcorn and drink is BIG. -- And I can see us eliminating the candy all together.
-At the mall, I'd automatically get a large strawberry julius Marianne and I could share and after just a few sips Marianne was done. I'd end up drinking the rest of this HUGE drink. I got a small this time and it was MORE than enough. (Be careful of portion perception when you see a display of sizes, like pizza pans and drink cups. It looks smaller far away than it does when you've actually got it in front of you. Small was MUCH bigger once I got it.)
-I also didn't get a meal "deal" at Chik-Fil-A, negating the calories from waffle fries and a soda or sweet tea. I DID have the fried chicken breast instead of the grilled but this is something I THOROUGHLY yum out on. I love too that CFA has a wheat bun alternative.

Day 37 - March 30 - TTT, Part 4

Tuesday Tips from a Trainer (a few trainers have said this): All you need for a home gym is a balance ball, a couple of free weights and resistance bands.

MY NOTES: I still have a gym membership because I love the socializing in classes and the scheduling helps me stay on track. I also love doing the stepladder on the treadmill. If, however, we get to the point where we can't afford the gym membership I have the equipment to get fit at home. For a GREAT 7-Day Bootcamp Video series using these pieces, go to:
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_articles.asp?id=1083
You can adjust these videos to your fitness level and they're only about 10-12 minutes long!

My favorite DVD series: Leslie Sanson Walk-Away The Pounds. She has DVDs where you can incorporate an upper body workout while walking IN YOUR HOUSE (available at WalMart for about $12) and even has a 5 mile walk with light jogging. Great for all ages and all fitness levels!
NOTE: For a great walking program outside, see Day 5.

Meaningful Movement: 1 hour of zumba!!! (Welcome back, Gloria!)


Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day 37:
- 1 scrambled egg and slice of American cheese wrapped in a homemade flour tortilla and a mango.
-tortilla with shredded cheddar cheese with peanut butter and banana smoothie
NOTE: I DID have these together.
-tortilla with egg and cheese
-4 chicken wings (off the bone it fits in the bowl)
-Lenten fast: dinner
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Day 36 - March 29 - Weigh In, Week 5

Starting Weight: 233, Feb. 22
Last week: 224
This week: 222

This is a HUGE celebration today, especially after looking at my last couple of days. I'm SO grateful that the scale moved enough to make my 2 pound goal. (Yes, there is a double standard with the scale. I'm not allowed to beat myself up when the numbers aren't kind but I'm TOTALLY allowed to celebrate when it goes my way! *G*)

I woke up shortly before 4 am this morning FULL of regret: not sticking with my "free day" goal from last week, not drinking more water, not getting in more fruits and veggies, not tightening up my eating, not going to the gym on Sunday and not doing an exercise DVD at home when I didn't go to the gym. I was DREADING my weigh-in today because I truly didn't want to report the weight gain that I KNEW was going to be my fate. It was quite the pity party.

I was so sick of my own inner voice that I picked up a book to read, Beth Moore's "So Long, Insecurity (You've Been a Bad Friend)". (I'm going to her simulcast based on this book on April 24th and it's a GREAT read! I wish someone had given me this book when I was 11 years old. I'd recommend for moms to read it before passing it on to their girls but, boy, I wish I'd had this wisdom BEFORE I had to learn some unnecessary lessons on my own.) The first thing my eyes landed on was this:

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10: 35-36 (NIV)

The next thing I read was "We all need God."

Was this God giving me a pep talk or what?!?! He is so faithful! I want to memorize this scripture and take it into my BONES:
So do not throw away your confidence: Interesting that the translation uses the command "do not throw away". Confidence is earned and is SUCH a gift. To trivialize it as disposable garbage would be to weaken my efforts and devalue the work I've done so far. I will not throw away my confidence.
it will be richly rewarded: There have been so many blessings already. I'm excited to see what God has in store for the BBE and what doors will open with better health. To finally show my daughter what a healthy mommy looks like will be a rich reward indeed.
You need to persevere : This makes me think of one of my other favorite passages of scripture: "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. " (Philippians 3:12-14)
so that when you have done the will of God : The BBE was fully a gift from God. I think the biggest regret would be not to pursue the will of God in my efforts.
you will receive what he has promised : I will finally get to see my GOD BOD!!!

Showing Progress:
-When I started working on the treadmill, I'd sometimes put my hands rest hands just above my hips and there were chunks on both sides that I could cup in my hands. Those chunks are gone!
-After 5 weeks:
-Sitting Leg Press: 90 pounds to 150 pounds (3 sets of 15)
-Highest treadmill setting: 4.0 for 1 minute to 4.3 for 2 minutes
-Beginning Toning: 5 pound weights to 8 pound weights
-Added another riser to my step bench (making it a grand total of TWO. *g*)
-My hubby says he can tell I'm getting smaller!
-My butt no longer has shelf space! (I swear you could've set a drink on it!)

Meaningful Movement: 1 hour of Zumba and 1 hour of Beginning Toning

Foods that fit in a baby bowl, Day36:

-mango

-Red Baron personal pepperoni pizza with added pineapple

-1/2 hamburger with onion gravy and rice
-Nutella and banana smoothie
-Lenten fast: dinner

Day 35 - March 28 - A Wonderful Palm Sunday

Whelp, my social eating continued today. After church we are all hungry and decided to go to Easter festivities in Ft. Walton Beach. When we got to Uptown Station where this was supposed to happen there was NO trace of all the children's activities they'd advertised for -- VERY disappointing. What we did do though is try a new "country kitchen" restaurant. As expected, the portions were HUGE and delicious! I did manage to bring half the food home with me and skip dessert (the HUMONGOUS slice of coconut cake was calling my name!) but my baby bowl didn't even make it in my bag. I strayed off my program but what a GREAT day of fellowship at the church, seeing my baby sing in the chorus, eating a wonderful meal with my family and visiting the park where I got to see my hubby teach our Marianne to fly her first kite and stopping at Target.

Meaningful Movement - rest day

Foods I Ate (didn't bring my bowl!), Day 35:

-Blueberry scone

-cornbread, half a hamburger with rice and gravy, cheese grits, a couple of bites of baked beans and 4 french fries.

-several sips of slushies

-mango

-bite of mongolian beef and brown rice